He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
