That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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