arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
When did angry sex become our thing?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
