We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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