I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
