margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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