I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
