Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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