Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
