the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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