I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
