I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
