Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
