you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
