it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
