OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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