i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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