Ketchup is God's man juice
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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