I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
