haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
