Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
