Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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