But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
