your room smells of hookers.
And success
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
