I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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