I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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