wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You made out with two different species that night
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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