covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
