Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wish i was in the wii world.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
