it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
