whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
