i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it's like iHOP with fire
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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