And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
