his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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