We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
