Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
