And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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