Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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