lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Boobs are out for the taking
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
