So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize