Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
