She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
