Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
