She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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