Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize