he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
