420 ftw
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
