I must be too annoying 4 u.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
