So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
