So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
