i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
