i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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