Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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