ugly people sure do ruin things
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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