dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
