Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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