Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
home. puking in laundry basket.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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