Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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