Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
