it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
