remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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