First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize