I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
