She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
