Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
