Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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