my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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