Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
