i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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