Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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