It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
