You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
