Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
